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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24618382">of liking and loving someone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelpinks/pseuds/pastelpinks'>pastelpinks</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - High School, Boys In Love, Crushes, Dorks in Love, M/M, Narrator tells the story from their perspective, POV First Person, always and forever, narrator learns the difference between liking someone and loving someone, no soonwoo no life, soonwoo endgame, this is not a y/n au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:08:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,808</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24618382</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelpinks/pseuds/pastelpinks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I am nobody but this is the story of how Kwon Soonyoung broke my heart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>48</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>of liking and loving someone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>helloooo this, like most of my short fics, came out of nowhere HAHA—i woke up this morning from my dream and suddenly wanted to write about someone having a crush on soonyoung but realizing that his heart was already taken gfhgddhf hope you like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He is always a pretty sight to see. Always standing out, all bright and dazzling like he was the actual sun. He always had people surrounding him, like they naturally gravitated towards him. </p><p> </p><p>I don’t think I can blame them, he just has this unknown pull. </p><p> </p><p>When he dances it’s almost as if there’s a switch that flips with a resounding noise. He becomes different. A good different. He knows that eyes are watching him and he smirks like everything’s according to plan.</p><p> </p><p>I think he’s beautiful when he does that.</p><p> </p><p>He’s used to people watching him, he’s used to having all eyes on him but he’s not obnoxious about it. He simply goes with the flow. </p><p> </p><p>He’s been confessed to countless times in school and his friends would often tease him for it. Bumping shoulders with him and wagging their eyebrows at him quietly before sending him off. He just ducks his head every time and shakes his head at them to keep people from looking.</p><p> </p><p>Too late, everyone already was.</p><p> </p><p>Rumor has it that he’s never made a person cry after they’ve told him their feelings. He’s never been in a relationship with anyone who’s confessed to him either, some people say it’s because his standards are too high or that whoever was confessing to him should’ve known that he was way out of their league.</p><p> </p><p>I can’t help but agree with the latter.</p><p> </p><p>I know this because I, too, have gotten my heart broken by one Kwon Soonyoung.</p><p> </p><p>I’d been working behind the scenes for the school festival that time. We’ve spoken more than a handful of times at that point. He was kind and polite to everyone and I was no exception. </p><p> </p><p>I was never a brave person to begin with but I think it was a rush of adrenaline that came over me after watching him perform. He was magnificent on stage. Like always. </p><p> </p><p>It was a bit after the show had been over. He and his group were walking out of their dressing room, duffel bags hanging off of their shoulders, some of them drinking water from their jugs, the others laughing and smiling. He was on his phone typing and toweling sweat off his hair with his other hand.</p><p> </p><p>I was gripping my production ID in my hand so hard that I could feel the groves of the casing marking my palm but it was now or I’ll never have this amount of confidence ever again.</p><p> </p><p>When our eyes met, he grinned at me and raised his hand for a wave. I waved back and asked if I could speak with him for a bit, he nods and lets his teammates go on without him. They don’t tease him like they usually do, because who would ever expect a quiet person working behind the scenes to even confess their feelings right now? Not me. Not even Kwon Soonyoung but here we are.</p><p> </p><p>I compliment him on their performance and he bashfully thanks me and tells me it means a lot. I nod at him and looks him in the eye. I tell him that I love watching him perform and that he’s an amazing person inside out and he listens. He doesn’t speak until after I’ve let my feelings out. All of them.</p><p> </p><p>He looks at me, right at me. I was afraid he was looking into my soul at that moment. And then he smiles apologetically. He takes one step backward and bows in my direction. He tells me thank you and how much he appreciates me telling him my feelings and apologizes that he couldn’t accept them because,</p><p> </p><p><em> “I’m in love with someone.” </em> He says, as he stands back up and looks straight into my eyes.</p><p> </p><p>And while I know it was a line he’s used many many times, it felt just as genuine as me telling him about how I feel. It was like he was saying it for the first time because his eyes are bright, almost sparkling and his breathing is calm but simmering with happiness and a touch of nervousness that only someone who truly meant their words would look like.</p><p> </p><p>I knew my heart was broken from being rejected but I couldn’t feel the pain. All of a sudden, my feelings for him seemed feeble compared to how he felt about the person he was talking about. My feelings felt like letting out a breath that I’d been holding in for a while while his feelings for this person was the ocean that stretched all the way into the horizon. There was no finish line because he was ready to keep swimming in the vast blue of his love for them.</p><p> </p><p>That was when I realized how human he was. People in school liked putting him on a pedestal because he was the ideal guy. Talented, good in math, kind to his peers and all in all, just a wonderful well-rounded person. But beneath all of that was just a boy, seeking the attention of the lucky someone who has caught his eye from, what I would guess, the very beginning.</p><p> </p><p>Kind as ever, he did not invalidate my feelings, it was almost as if he empathized with me. And soon after we parted ways I thought about how I’ve always looked up to him when all this time, he’d seen me as an equal. </p><p> </p><p>Nothing much has changed since then, except that we’re actually friends now and I’ve pretty much gotten over my crush on him, having to work together for a number of school productions and everything. I still love to watch him perform but I’ve long realized that I’d only been attracted to him like a fan was attracted to an idol. </p><p> </p><p>We share stories now and sometimes he tells me about his special person. He doesn’t name them when he specifically talks about them with me but it doesn’t take a genius for someone to figure out who he’s talking about especially when he talks about that someone for more than 50% of the time without noticing that he’d been talking about them and going for more than a mile a minute. </p><p> </p><p>He probably doesn’t know it himself but I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s noticed. It’s quite amusing to watch him flail around with heart eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “They gave me three canned kimchis yesterday and no one can stop me from thinking that they meant ‘I love you’ with it.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Wonwoo is so annoying. He keeps sending me cat memes but I know he hates it when I call myself a tiger so I send back tiger memes to him. There’s not a lot of tiger memes though.”</p><p> </p><p>“Is that instant coffee? We have a fridge filled with instant coffee backstage? Shit. Don’t let Wonwoo see it, he'll down all of it in one sitting.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wonwoo loves staying up at night either reading or playing games on his phone but he knows I’m a light sleeper and I’m usually always tired from practice so he turns off the light in our dorm room. That’s why his eyesight is so poor.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “You know how I’m hopeless when it comes to computers? They taught me how to paste an image on my powerpoint slide yesterday and called me a cute idiot. It was kind of romantic.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Wonwoo wants to watch this cheesy romance movie in the cinema, I told him I wanted to watch zombies and he said I could watch it on my laptop instead. I hate him so much.”</p><p> </p><p>“You know how I said Wonwoo wanted to watch a cheesy romance movie yesterday? It was a prank he actually bought tickets to the zombie movie that I wanted to watch, what an idiot.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Don’t laugh at me but last Sunday, because I was so bored and they kept playing Candy Crush on their phone, I sat on their lap to get their attention. I know right? Ew, Soonyoung clingy much. They didn’t stop playing Candy Crush until they finished the level much to my disappointment but they didn’t push me off either. They hugged me and kissed me on the forehead afterwards so all was well.”  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Wonwoo drove me here. He almost crashed the car.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wonwoo’s cat is shedding. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to wear black today.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wonwoo needs to stop being so tall and rubbing his height in my face.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “My dad asked them if they wanted to live with me already so I could move out of the house and they could use my room for extra storage area. My dad, a traitor!” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“For someone who has a good fashion sense, Wonwoo really loves to repeat his clothes. Gross.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wonwoo thinks he can become a ballad singer. Yeah. Sure, in his dreams.”</p><p> </p><p>“I wasn’t able to make it to practice yesterday because I had to take care of Wonwoo who caught the flu and wouldn’t stop whining.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I got sick the other day and they took care of me. They don’t usually cook but they cooked some chicken ginseng soup for me. It wasn’t perfect, actually it kind of tasted awful but I finished it anyway. If this isn’t love, I don’t know what the hell is.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>And so on.</p><p> </p><p>See, it doesn’t take rocket science to put two and two together.</p><p> </p><p>It’s honestly adorable. How Soonyoung looks at him with sparkling eyes especially when he makes a joke and while barely anyone in the room registers the pun, Wonwoo doubles over laughing at it. How Soonyoung always makes sure Wonwoo’s in the audience first and anticipating his performance before giving it his all. How Soonyoung thinks he’s being subtle when he pretends to be annoyed by Wonwoo’s antics. How Soonyoung blushes when Wonwoo sings love songs out of nowhere. </p><p> </p><p>How Wonwoo, in all his oblivious glory, also looks at Soonyoung with the same sparkle in his eyes. How Wonwoo makes sure Soonyoung’s taken care of before and after every performance. How Wonwoo’s the first one to run over to Soonyoung when he accidentally strains his bad shoulder during practice. How Wonwoo loves taking candid photos of Soonyoung and looks down at his camera after with the fondest expression known to mankind. How Wonwoo smiles at every little thing Soonyoung does.</p><p> </p><p>The list goes on and on. Thinking back, it makes me wonder why I’d never noticed it before. Maybe because I was too focused on just watching Soonyoung and harboring a crush on him from afar. What I missed out on was the amount of love two people can have for one another with the only evidence of the smallest and most minute gestures that only people close to them can observe.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>I’d like to think that in time, I’ll find a love as strong as theirs too.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>ahh i’m actually stuck in a writing rut right now (っ- ‸ – ς) i’ve been wanting to write smth for so long but it remains a wip until now (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯) i’m still trying to get back on my groove but i’ll do my best to get this block out of the way (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯) thank you again for taking the time to read my works. it means the world to me!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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